It’s been just over 6 years since my mom passed away. I will say, there are very few days that pass by that I don’t still think about her. For those who don’t know her, all I can say is, you missed an awesome woman. Although time has a way of romanticizing our pasts, I can honestly say, I still hold her in my memories the way I remember her. She was a loving woman, but, she loved you in her way.
You see, the things I remember about my mom are not those memories of getting hurt and her kissing my boo-boo, or having a struggle with something and her helping me out of it. She was the kind of woman that didn’t have a lot of mercy to share, but she had heart. Oh, did she have heart. Nothing would stop her or keep her down. I like to tell my kids how she would listen to me complain about something wrong in my marriage, then she would look at me and say “Shut up, you have a good wife, now go home.”
I’m thankful for her tenacity.
I watched her struggle a lot of her life, with one thing or another, but she just kept on trudging along.
Her second husband died suddenly of a heart attack, and she just kept trudging along.
She was diagnosed with cancer, and she just didn’t have time for that, so she kept on trudging along.
Her youngest son was diagnosed with cancer and she just trudged along.
He passed away 6 months later.. and.. she broke. I think it was the first time I ever really saw my mom cry, and I had no idea what to do. So I did what I could, and just loved her how I knew best. I still wonder if it was enough.
A little over a year later, on January 7th, 2008, just after midnight, my mom passed away. I lost a friend that night, someone that I looked up too, someone I cared for more then I think I could ever admit. It still hurts to think about her, it still hurts when I just really want to talk to her. It hurts to think she never got the chance to watch my children graduate, she wasn’t there to see Ben get married, she won’t be there the day Taylor does.
But I’m thankful for the time I had with her, the relationship we had, and that the emotions I have for her are still so strong that I have had to stop several times because I couldn’t see due to the tears.
Most of all, I’m thankful she is my mom.
Miss you, mom.