There are little known secrets that I have tucked away internally, far away from people, because I know that if I ever let loose of those dark points, I would be looked at in a manner in which I have worked very hard to separate myself from.
One of those secrets is my desire to fire back immediately upon being fired upon.
You know what I’m talking about. Those conversations of beratement and belittlement.
Most of the time, I just sit there and take it in, holding back my tongue, stealing it away, fighting the urge to dismiss my own rules of parlay and launch into an assault of diatribe of epic proportions, carving my offender into a succulent portion of properly nullified excrement.
My wit is sharp, my ire has been stoked, my aggravation has been inflamed.
I stand quietly listening to the triteness of the tired mumblings of someone who, seriously, I am shocked can actually form proper sentences into a flowing thought.
All in the name of maintaining some built up image in my head of what is right and proper, to continue on with the ‘nice guy’ image that a lot of people assume, due to my own efforts, I truly am under the surface.
But, truth be known, in the quiet moments of the night, when the house is dark and the only light to be seen is from the glow of my monitor, I am blowing something up, causing a massive amount of devastation to whatever pixelated image has crossed my gaming pleasure for the evening… all the while, slowly venting my mental restraint into my efforts to exact my much needed retort in a less verbal way. But, in those moments, there are words that do slip out, that do make it past my guard, and alit the quiet with a boom…
And the world is a better place in that moment.
At least to me.