A Conversation Over Coffee

“I tried to forgive them. After all, isn’t that what we are suppose to do? Love our enemies, forgive as we want to be forgiven? The good book says that, right? You know what it doesn’t say?” He asked as he took a sip from his cup of coffee. I looked at him and just shook my head.

“How difficult that it’s going to be.” He put the cup back down on the table and just stared at me.

“Is that what made you start?” I finally asked, leaning back in the booth we sat at.

He thought for a moment, as if weighing his words before he spoke. “I don’t know.” Then he looked out the cafe window at the old worn down house across the tracks before he finally continued. “I just don’t know. I’ve thought hard about that, and for as much as I would like to blame them…” he paused as he scratched his chin. “I just can’t.” He finished by taking a deep breath, holding it, then slowly letting it out.

“You know blaming them would be easier, right?” He drifted into an unspoken thought. “It would be easier to do that, wouldn’t it.” then as quickly as his statement ended, he turned toward me and added, “But, it wouldn’t be true.” He picked his coffee up again. “Besides, ultimately, it’s not why you started that matters, but why you couldn’t quit. It’s that, somehow, you are right here, right now.” He took another sip.

“But, how do I get past it all?” I asked, still wondering how he was able to do something that I felt was an insurmountable task.

He looked back out at that abandoned home and I could have sworn that, somehow, that place resonated with something deeper inside him. It was a long minute before he finally spoke again. “Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with the expectations that the other person apologize or change.” He grabbed his coffee cup and then continued. “Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”

He then put the cup to his lips, took a sip and then finished by saying, “And then, you just remember the motto.” He smiled at me over the top of his cup. “One day at a time.” His smile spread to his eyes.

11 thoughts on “A Conversation Over Coffee

      1. Forgiveness is not about saying your sorry and hoping that the other person forgives you, but it is necessary to do either way. All we can do is clean up our side of the street and KEEP it clean. Showing the person that you mean what you say by actions rather than words goes a lot further than just words

        As for forgiving others, I have found that in order to do that, I had to forgive myself. For everything that I was upset at someone else about, or held a resentment towards, I had to look at what my part in all of that was. Usually I got hurt because I put others in positions that they had to take a certain action that pissed me off, but whose fault is that…..mine.

        Great post!


  1. This is a really natural-sounding conversation, if a difficult one. I like how you tied the photo into the story; really well done.


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