I really like the way this reads as instructional steps to take. There’s a lot of tension. I read “breath” as “breathe” the first time I read it and I thought your choice to make it a noun was interesting.
As I wrote it, I had the choice of writing it as a sequence of events or as a quasi-memoir. It comes across more as a process, accentuating the training portion, versus breathe which would be more the internal way of thinking about it. Not sure if that clarified or made it more confusing.
Ironically, I was just thinking about this very thing yesterday (my dad was in vietnam). I can’t imagine they could ever prepare you for something like that. Chilling!
A chilling prospect and I’m sure you know from first hand experience. (May want to correct type-o in third line.)
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I really like the way this reads as instructional steps to take. There’s a lot of tension. I read “breath” as “breathe” the first time I read it and I thought your choice to make it a noun was interesting.
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As I wrote it, I had the choice of writing it as a sequence of events or as a quasi-memoir. It comes across more as a process, accentuating the training portion, versus breathe which would be more the internal way of thinking about it. Not sure if that clarified or made it more confusing.
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I gotcha, I think. You wanted a command (Take a breath in) as opposed to a meditation (Breathe! You are alive!). Really thoughtful choice, Todd!
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Yes, exactly.
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Very chilling. But does the first feel any different then the next?
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If you are lucky. The scary part is when you stop feeling at all.
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Wow. I like the way you laid this out, slowly but steadily leading us to where you wanted to leave us. Made me pause and think.
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WOW, that was chilling and utterly brilliant!
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Really chilling and thoughtful. Great take.
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Ironically, I was just thinking about this very thing yesterday (my dad was in vietnam). I can’t imagine they could ever prepare you for something like that. Chilling!
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Great contrast between punchy instructions and feeling. Such a true and clear message – no amount of physical or mental preparation can be enough.
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Very well done. I loved the choice of “breath” instead of “breathe.”
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