Life After “I Do”

Wuv... tooo wuv
Wuv… tooo wuv

I am surrounded by young people getting married. There have been no less than 4 of them in the last 2 months, and I know there are a few more coming up. It seems that a lot of the kids that I have had the privilege of knowing have reached that age. Over the years, my wife and I have counselled with several young adults who are in the beginning phases of, or wanting to pursue, an engagement relationship. To that end, I figured I would share some of the advice and counsel that we have given.

Mind you, we are not certified experts on marriage. I do not carry a Ph… whatever… in anything. I actually don’t even have a high school diploma. However, what we do have is years of experience. Twenty-four to be exact. For whatever credibility that a number bestows upon a person, we have that many.

Our advice to all newly weds starts out the same. Find an older couple who has been there, done that, and is still together. Talk with them, find out what secrets they used to get through the tough times (there are always tough times (always)), and ask them for help when you run into it (you will, trust me).

  • The easiest part of marriage is to actually get married. The hard part is staying that way.
  • She is always right (as long as there are witnesses)
  • He always lets her be right
  • Decide early on (prior to saying “I do”) that divorce is not an option
  • Don’t get a pet the first year (this allows you to enjoy each other that much more)
  • He always puts the toilet seat down
  • She always checks before she sits on the toilet
  • Christen every room possible in the house (it makes for great creep out stories later)
  • He sometimes has to let her have the headache
  • She has to sometimes take the aspirin
  • If you are having a heated argument, get naked (trust me, it’s hard to argue that way)
  • Never argue in front of the kids
  • On that note… kiss in front of them frequently (it’s fun to hear their reactions)
  • Always kiss each other goodbye
  • Keep secrets with each other, not from
  • Dinner and a movie may just be… dinner and a movie
  • There will always be fights, learn you don’t have to win to be wrong
  • “I may not like you, but I do love you” is an acceptable sentence
  • The more right you are, the more wrong you become (let go of your pride)
  • There is nothing wrong with going to marriage counseling (seriously, let go of your pride)
  • Never bring up divorce, it’s a Pandora’s box that you can’t ever close.
  • You don’t complete each other, you compliment each other (Sorry, Jerry, you were wrong)

Ultimately, it boils down to…

If you make it all about your spouse, you’re probably doing it right.

This is just some of the advice we have given. Most of it is light-hearted, some of it was learned at the expense of many a long night, and some was from advice we have picked from other couples or our own marriage counseling. I hope that you found this to be entertaining, but mostly, something you can possibly take with you to help during those rough patches, because, as I said, there will be rough patches.

(this was written with the help (and more importantly the consent) of my wife. It was a lot of fun to pick our marital brains and see what we could come up with. After all, she has the privilege of being married to me, and there are some who would say that she should be sainted due to that… it’s probably true.)

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