I read a very funny blog today by Kim Scaravelli over at Stuff my dog taught me and it got me to thinking about some things I have thought for a very long time. Granted, in truth, I think this goes back to my days as a kid when I thought cats were the girls and dogs were the boys of the species (look, I never claimed to be normal… ever).
While I agree that men could use all the help in the world when it comes to understanding the greatest mystery ever presented to us, I have to confess that I don’t think it would be so simple to understand women just by observing the inclinations of a canine, because, well, in a nutshell, we already are dogs.
Yep, I said it. Every one of us. It’s simple really…
- We sit around all day
- Howl at anything that remotely catches our attention
- Eat anything we can get our hands on
- Make loud boisterous claims
- Wag our tails waiting for someone to acknowledge our accomplishments.
So, how, as a woman do you deal with a this? Just like you do a dog.
- Feed us
- Love us
- Give us attention (winky winky)
- Tell us we are good boys
- Let us go out to play with the other dogs from time to time
And wallah.. happy man. Well, mostly.
Then you have women. I admit I am no expert on them, by far I am not even a novice understander of the wiles that would be feminine (and I have been married over 24 years and have a 20 year old daughter… and a daughter in law). As I see it, if men are the dogs of the human population, that leaves women to be the cats, and I think (at least in my perspective) that this shoe fits, Cinderella.
- They prim… a lot
- They are indecisive about almost everything (I want in the door, I want out the door, in.. out.. in… ARGHHH)
- They want your attention, but only when they want, how they want, and how much.. and they won’t tell you what that is
- They are never wrong (nope, the dog did it, always)
- You must notice them or else they will make their presence known
- You can not be on the computer without them coming over and sitting across the keyboard (ok, this one may not be a bad thing)
- They are finicky
- They will let you know they are angry with you… very loudly.. with lots of hissing
- They cry for no reason (at least none that we men (or dogs) have ever figured out)
- They will sit in your lap.. on their terms
- They are incredibly independant
I could go on, but Prudence says I should stop (Prudence is what I named the better part of my wisdom, she’s a nice lady). Even though I recognize that I will most likely be sleeping in the doghouse for a while and that the mass majority of my followers who are women are already planning how to gouge my eyes out (another cat quality, fyi), that is if they are still following me… but sometimes.. a dog just has to howl regardless of the consequences.
Thanks to Kim for the inspiration for this post, please don’t hunt me down and kill me.
(why I include a pingback to the daily post is because I consider this pushing the envelope because.. seriously.. I’m pretty sure I just pushed it as far as I can….)