Asking for help?
Who does that?
Not this guy, that’s who… and usually I am the worse for it.
My pride, male ego and just the general “I can do it!” attitude step right in the way when I realize I am in way over my head, keeping me from reaching out to someone. As such, let’s take a deeper look into what those three reasons actually mean… and why they have such a grip on me and, for the most part, all other men.
Pride
No one likes to admit they can’t do something. No one likes to admit they need help. If you have to admit you need help, that means you are either stupid, useless or just unable. Anyway you chalk it up, it means that you are a failure. You can feel every ounce of criticism telling you that you aren’t worthy and that you should be able to do this on your own.
Male Ego
Ok, I’m a guy.. and guys are supposed to be able to do stuff. They are the go-to for getting things done. So when we are unable to do it, well, it dents the armor that is “manliness”. Asking friends to help? Not going to happen.. just add a few grunts, flex some muscles and power your way through it… or die trying. Dieing, by the way, is not just an option but dying while trying earns you a place in Male-halla (it’s like Valhalla version of a Male Hall of Fame). Success or not.
“I Can Do It!”
Ok, this is kind of what happens when pride and male ego collide at the intersection of Wait For It Boulevard and Stalemate Avenue. The collision has a resounding smack of failure that causes everyone to falter, but not so much that the belief that you can recover and continue on your pursuit of success is completely wiped out. The thought that you might be able to eek out some kind of win is enough to drive you into the dead-end just ahead where, not only will you fail, but you will fail spectacularly as the airbags explode in your face and the engine lands in your lap.
So… there it is. In a nutshell. I don’t like asking for help, I’m just not that guy and as I said above, failure isn’t an option (it is however usually the only outcome). So, if you need me for some task, I’ll be over here in the corner trying to make my last mishap look like a blazing success.
You sound like my first husband, but at least you admit that your male pride gets in your way. He’d never admit it in a million years.
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I wear my faults for all to see.. or at least most of them.. or.. some of them.. yes, definitely some of them.. well.. ok, just the ones that make my stories better… those I wear.. or.. hrm.
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Don’t be too hard on yourself….
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Haha! Few grunts and flex some muscles! Do it the manly way! Now you really are pushing it! That was yesterday. Wait, wrong prompt. Hahaha!
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They seem too go together, don’t they?
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Yes, they do. I could still remember your previous post in my head. Then just realized it’s now a different post.
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🙂 Nice and honest post!!
I have a closet waiting to be built… but I’m a bit far away. This time I guess you’ll have to ask for directions 🙂
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I’m not a guy, but I get it. I’m a very independent woman, and I don’t like to ask for help for all the reasons you name. Well, except for the male ego thing 🙂
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