I am a horrible person.
There, I admitted it. Not a surprise to those that know me, I am sure. But to those that don’t, this may come as a shock. Now, I know many might be asking what nefarious thing have I gone and done this time, but I will get to that shortly. I just feel with the Christmas time being so near, I need to clear the air about my wrong doing. Or rather, about my… not wrong doing… as it truly would be stated.
See, I don’t lie. Not the big fat ugly ones, not the little innocent white ones. So much so that I have told my wife pretty plainly, “Don’t ask me a question you don’t want an answer too.” As she is sure to eventually ask the dreaded question all husbands seem to lie about…”Does this make me look fat?” to which I would have to respond in a manner that would deprive me of… well, marital bliss… shall we say.
So why would I be apologizing for not lying? Well…. see, that’s not what I am apologizing for. I am apologizing because in the fact that I take great pride in not lying, I do tend to manipulate the way the truth is told. I have learned a lot of ‘trade’ or ‘craft’ secrets when it comes to disseminating information in a manner that leaves the hearer the ability to fill the holes in as they would.
Now a prime example of this would be how I find information out. It’s a great tactic, and if there are any parents reading this, you are free to use this on your children if you want. If there are children reading this, well.. stop reading this particular entry and go check out my Count Your Blessings blogs… after all it’s Christmas, you should be thankful, right?
Ok, now that the kids are away… here is a prime example of one of the ways I manipulate the truth without lying. I would sit at the dinner table with my kids, and during a quiet moment, look over at them and simply ask, “Why would your teacher contact me about your behavior in school today?” They would stop, look at each other with the look that spoke volumes about how they hated their sibling for tattling on them, and then they would start to spill the proverbial beans about what they did wrong that day.
I know… fantastic! Right?
I never told them the teacher called, I simply made asked them a question. It is a glorious tactic, one that has led me into more information than I might want to know about the on-goings of my children, but glorious none the less. Feel free to try it.
I also tend to steer around telling a flat out truth, almost finding it a game of “Keep Away” when it comes to some truth I know that I don’t want to reveal. My children have learned that I do this and knowing that I won’t lie to them, have taken it as a challenge to ask better questions.. or just stopped caring to find out.. hrm, maybe that’s why we don’t talk as much as we use too..
Anyway… when faced with avoiding having to tell a truth, questions are great and become a tactic by using them as a diversion or a counter method toward the questions being asked (see disclaimer at the bottom). I would give some examples from my own life, however nothing is coming to my mind at the moment (or I am holding back and deciding not to share any of my trade secrets… it’s one or the other).
Now, yes, there are those that would argue that this is, in fact, lying. I’m not here to argue that point, but more clear the air before Santa comes, because this year, I really want to get my Red Ryder BB Gun with compass in stock.
(DISCLAIMER… I have a policy that I can not use this tactic when it comes to my wife. One, she would hurt me, two, it’s just not right to keep secrets from your spouse, that can be dangerous (see first point))