In the Now

I am not a strategic man. Planning causes me no end of frustration. I do not like the finer points of working things out and figuring out the best way to utilize my resources. It’s arduous, it’s frustrating, and it just too slow. On top of that, there are always deadlines.

Seriously, who came up with that concept… and that name? Could it be more ominous?

Deadline…

Why not just call it something a bit less sinister, like, oh, I don’t know… Murder spot.

When someone gives me a deadline, I look at it as if Death himself is sitting there, watching his clock, spinning his scythe and just waiting for the second hand to strike that final moment before he cuts through my silver thread with his scissors.

Or is that the Fates?

Which ever it be.. that’s what I feel.

And rightly so. Imposing these so called points in time that require me to accomplish some task is really nothing more than setting me up for failure and as I have previously made known, when I don’t think I can win, I just don’t play. Right, wrong, or indifferent.

No, I leave all that planning and strategy stuff to those who have the mind for it. I am more about just doing. Give me something tactical, in the moment, do-or-die. Yeah, that’s where I like to live. Not for the adrenaline, not for the rush, but more because at least I know it will be over soon.

Then I can carry on with my life, or at least carry on into the next thing that needs my immediate attention. That’s where I like to be. Hair on fire, going Mach 2, split-second decisions, everything hanging in the balance. I call it “Living in the Trenches”, and I do so like the trenches.

Maybe that’s why, even with looming deadlines and things that just have to get done by a certain time, I wait till the last moment and then pour myself into it to get it done. Maybe it’s just a procrastinating thing or I’m lazy. Sure, those fit too.

But in the end, I think I just enjoy the challenge of pulling it off in the last seconds…

Hrm, maybe that’s it. I’ve watched one too many ‘hero movies’ and have a complex of snipping the blue wire at the last second.

Or was it the green one?

“In Due Time.”