WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW UNTIL YOU HAVE KIDS


WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW UNTIL YOU HAVE KIDS

~ How many seconds it takes to microwave four fish slicks perfectly.

~ Who John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt is.

~ How to change a diaper in the dark, in a parked car, on a standing child, and all of the above simultaneously.

~ Which lines of “The Cat in the Hat” and “If I Ran the Circus” can be skipped over without a child noticing.

~ How bright a 3 a.m. full moon is.

~ The design marvels of hooded towels, Velcro-strap shoes, and mitten clips.

~ Locations of public restrooms all across town.

~ Why anyone would bother retracing their steps for miles just to retrieve a lost blankie.

~ The fine art of vacuuming a floor with out hosing up a Barbie shoe or a Playmobil cannonball.

~ How little sleep a human body truly needs to function.

~ Almost every Disney lyric ever penned.

~ How to spell amoxicillin, let alone say it.

~ That reverse psychology really works.

~ Why they call them Happy Meals.

~ The blessedness of naps.

~ How much you can love one human being.

From Mikey's Funnies [forwarded by Gretchen Patti]
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