WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW UNTIL YOU HAVE KIDS
~ How many seconds it takes to microwave four fish slicks perfectly.
~ Who John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt is.
~ How to change a diaper in the dark, in a parked car, on a standing child, and all of the above simultaneously.
~ Which lines of “The Cat in the Hat” and “If I Ran the Circus” can be skipped over without a child noticing.
~ How bright a 3 a.m. full moon is.
~ The design marvels of hooded towels, Velcro-strap shoes, and mitten clips.
~ Locations of public restrooms all across town.
~ Why anyone would bother retracing their steps for miles just to retrieve a lost blankie.
~ The fine art of vacuuming a floor with out hosing up a Barbie shoe or a Playmobil cannonball.
~ How little sleep a human body truly needs to function.
~ Almost every Disney lyric ever penned.
~ How to spell amoxicillin, let alone say it.
~ That reverse psychology really works.
~ Why they call them Happy Meals.
~ The blessedness of naps.
~ How much you can love one human being.
From Mikey's Funnies [forwarded by Gretchen Patti]