We’re Getting Married!
The year was 1990. It was September 12th, and it was suppose to be my wedding day.
However, according to my girlfriend at the time, no one gets married on a Wednesday, even though the 12th marked the day the two of us started dating (the first time). So, she pushed it back to the following Saturday, making it the 15th. As I was deployed while she was making our wedding plans, I was not aware of this date change until I pulled into port on the 8th.
I know, you’re thinking, ‘So what. No big deal?’, but what you don’t know is that the 15th happens to be the birthday of my older brother, someone, who at the time, I did not have the best relationship with (it’s still a love-hate thing, but I think the word for that is ‘brothers’… so). Upon being informed, I immediately went into a “I’m not sharing my anniversary with my older brother!” tirade, until I thought, “Oh, wait, I get to steal his birthday, and blame my girlfriend… mwahaha.” Ok, fine, maybe I have a bit too much of the middle-child syndrome kicking. And?
What Else Could Go Wrong?
I agreed to the terms, even though secretly I still wanted to get married on the 12th. Romantics don’t give up on their ideas that easily, otherwise, they wouldn’t be romantics. So I just chalked this up to one of those things that just go wrong with your wedding.
If this were the lone incident on that list, I would have been more then happy. But, as it was, this didn’t even make the top 10. Now, before I go any further, I just need to say that there is no ill-will toward anyone listed in the following list. I merely mention them because, truth being truth, it just added flavor to the water that ended up being the stock to the soup of our marriage.
And with that piece of framework installed, here is the list of reasons and things that were sure to spell doom to our marriage:
- It was 1989.
- I was 19.
- She was 18.
- We had never lived together.
- We had never had sex.
- We didn’t have a place to move into right after we got married.
- The list of people who were not at the wedding:
- My dad
- My best friend
- Her best friend
- My older brother (yep, the guys’ whose birthday it was)
- The guy we originally asked to marry us (he got into a car accident that day, totalled his VW Rabbit)
- I never asked her dad for her hand in marriage.
- She wasn’t pregnant.
- I made less than $1000 a month as an E-3 in the Navy.
- Our marriage counseling consisted of a three-hour conversation with the pastor who married us.
A Recipe, A Freight Train and King Kong…
The list goes on and on, but the main point being, we were so ill-prepared to get married and the odds were so stacked against us that placing a bet for us not lasting more than four years would have been a safe bet.
To put it in more descriptive words, it was a recipe for disaster that was taped to a freight-train headed for a washed out bridge that was over a fiery pit of despair and we bought front row tickets to the show. Wait, that doesn’t make sense, but, it doesn’t matter, you get the picture.
In spite of all that, we went ahead and got married anyway, and at the end of the day, two high school sweethearts, oblivious to the reality that was barreling down on them like King Kong chasing Fay Ray through New York, stood as husband and wife.
If we only had a clue as to what the next year held for us, we might not have gone through with it
Thank God for our obliviousness.