Compromise
I think one of the most overlooked and underrated aspects of marriage that newly weds completely forget about is that of compromise. Mainly because they have bought into the lie of Jerry Maguire. The whole, ‘you complete me’ garbage that Hollywood has proliferated upon the masses is utter and complete… well, BS (my wife will tell you that stands for ‘bird seed’).
Look, here’s some sad reality that I’m going to smack down on you. If another human is what makes you whole, how screwed up is that? Shouldn’t you be whole on your own? Seriously? But, when it comes to romance, we have bought this lie that someone else is what makes me whole and complete and fulfilled.
Excuse me while I go vomit…
No, learn this lesson early on and you will avoid so much. You are a whole person, your romantic love interest is a complete person. The two of you together make 2 whole people trying to become one person. That happens through compromise. It’s the only way. Especially if you want to stay married, and I don’t assume that you got married without the desire to stay that way.
My whole marriage has been about compromise. Sure, there are times she meets me much further across the halfway mark then she wants, and there are times i do the same. But again, it’s about the goal of staying married.
And compromise is about giving up something of you in order to make life better for them.
You want a definition of love? There you go.
But, maybe I’m wrong.
Maybe.
Thoughts from the Front 
It’s true, a wise woman said to me on the eve on my wedding, that the other name for marriage is compromise, and boy was she right!
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Sounds good to me!
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You’re not wrong, not wholly 🙂 I have been married 14 years now and the two key things I have learnt are this: Let go of expectations and love the other person for who they are, not who you want them to be. A little bit of disagreement is good, healthy even.
It helps if you are on the same page with respect to the larger picture such as parenting decisions, financial health and willingness to learn. Apart from that, it is important to have separate interests, individual goals and self-esteem.
Hey,it works for me 🙂
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I agree, separate interests are very important (but that’s coming up in a separate blog.. shhh 🙂 )
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Come on!! Not that the other person completes you. Maybe the other person takes out the best from you and makes you complete. 🙂
Well, at least that’s how I feel. I only feel complete when I’m in love (and loved).
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NO, you’re not wrong. The fact that you are still happily married is proof that you have both figured out that marriage is not 50/50. It is 100/100. You are both committed and willing to stretch. I’m really enjoying these vignettes, by the way 🙂
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Thanks. It was fun to write them. Well, most of them.
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