13 of 25…


Well, this one is a bit out of the order I wanted it in, but with everything going on in the last few days (hence my silence and current backlog of blogs), I am moving this one up to the first post today (first, because I have some catching up to do if I want to hit my goal (which I do)).

Empty Nesters

Yesterday, my wife and I, with the help of our son, moved our little girl out of the house into an apartment with her brother… 2 and a half hours away.

Not cool, kids. Not cool…emptynest3

That means that as of this morning, we are officially empty nesters. I’m not sure if she thinks this is her anniversary present to us or not, but if she does, I’m just saying it doesn’t count.

As I’m writing this, I still can’t figure out how this happened. Sure, I get the process, but she.. her.. I.. when did this happen? When did they grow up? Weren’t they just born? When did I get old?

Don’t answer that last one. M’kay? Thanks.

I even went so far as to walk into her room this morning to yell at her to clean it up. Just because… you know, old habits, etc., etc.

The Truth

It hurts. A lot worse than I thought it would. Sure, it’s a natural progression for your kids to grow up, move out, start their own families… but man, it’s like that moment in Avenger’s when this happened…

My wife and I have joked about many moments when our kids hit certain milestones how we would be a certain way. Like for our daughter’s graduation present, we were going to buy a sports car… for us. The plans we have for their empty rooms and how we are going to turn them into reading rooms, or offices, or… a huge display room for my massive collection of Bobbleheads that is slowly taking over my office (that photo is from February this year and my collection has at least doubled in size).

But, not today. No, today I’m still getting over my Kali Ma moment.

My Kali-Ma Moment

So, this is kind of what it felt like last night when I walked into her room and it was empty (I intentionally made this as small as possible, as it might be a bit ‘ewww’ for the squeamish… there, I warned you).

kahli_ma

Nothing but remnant left over from the life that she lived in our house for the last 20 years. The rooms empty (mostly), and there is this hollowness in my chest that no one ever warned me about. Both of my kids have grown up and moved on.

My Advice

I’d love to give you some advice for how to deal with this, but the truth is, we are still trying to figure it out ourselves. It’s a great goal to achieve, and a milestone in our marriage that is worth marking, but like so many of the other points of interest along the road of our 25 years of marriage, this one is bringing more change that we are going to have to adapt to and overcome. Together. And I guess that is the key to the whole thing, that you let the change bring you closer together.

Maybe that’s my advice for you today.

But, I’m really starting to hate all this change.

last-meal

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8 thoughts on “13 of 25…

  1. Mine are still young but I always think I’m going to look forward to every stage of their lives. Still, I see how this one would be a hard one. Maybe just be happy that it’s not looking like they’ll be living in the basement when they’re 35?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We waved goodbye to our third son last week. He didn’t live with us. He’s almost 40. But he’s off to California with his fiance, who is going to school for a year out there. I was surprised at how hard that was. It was nice having him close by. We miss him.

    Liked by 1 person

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