Love is a mysterious thing, often philosophized over by many great minds who come up with many number of ways to figure out whether or not a couple will last. In high school, the defining factor was whether you and your SO (that’s short for ‘significant other’) made a “cute couple”. And while I can attest to the fact that this particular voucher for a relationship is valid on a 2 dimensional world, in our 3D world, it holds about as much water as a flat surface (see what I did there?)
But, there are a few adages I enjoy holding up to my own relationship with my wife, and while they all have merit, very few pass muster (as it were) when it comes to having any basis in reality. One such adage is a little thing called…
Now, whether someone happen to see two magnets in action or just really enjoyed puzzles, there is some merit in this particular adage when it comes to me and my wife.
For instance, she is a morning person and I am a night owl. Most days she is up around 5 in the morning, bushy-tailed, bright-eyed and hopping around ready to get stuff done. Me, I wake up and stay in the zombie phase well past noon. Around 6pm, I start to wake up and get all energetic as I watch her start to shut down and fall asleep by 830. I won’t even get tired for another 3 hours and by about midnight I’m finally moving toward going to sleep.
Another opposite has to do with our social meters (as Sims would put it). I am an extrovert. I thrive off of crowds, and while I don’t need to be the center of attention, I tend to be involved in everything going on around me. She is not. She is what is classified as an introvert. When we are out together, she can be found in my shadow, just enjoying not being in the middle of everything.
There I will be, just going on and on (and on and on and…) about whatever it is that we are talking about, sharing with everyone my thoughts and insights on that particular matter, and then someone in the group will ask her, “So, what do you think about that?” to which she will say about 20 words, sum up everything I just said and get the point across better.
The Word is… Neged
While taking a marriage class, we were introduced to this word. It’s an old Hebrew word that means “opposite” and it was used to show how a husband and wife complement each other. It’s a great picture of a marriage, where two people fit together perfectly, strong in areas the other person is weak and vice versa. When we look at the whole ideal of opposites attract, this would be the word you are looking for.
The trick that took years to figure out is how to actually embrace the things that make you different. Even after 25 years, we both still annoy each other when it comes to our differences, but we are either starting to figure it out or have just resigned ourselves to the fact that this is just how the other is (or a little of both).
Because, enjoying the differences can be a lot of fun… mainly due to the fact that after 9pm, I can go play my video games and not have to worry about her interrupting me for something she needs me to do.