No More Excuses…


So, it’s been so long since I’ve written anything here… I’d go check but I’d probably get depressed about not writing even more than I already am.

But, I remember when I set aside the blogging to concentrate on school work. It was a good idea because the amount of work I was doing was a lot. Four classes a semester and two of those (on average) were writing classes and the other two tended to be literature classes.
IMG_1139

However, all that came to an end back in December. That’s when I graduated from UCF with my Bachelor of Arts in English. And I did that one day shy of the two-year mark from graduating with my Associate of Arts. While holding down a full-time job.

I’m pretty sure that somewhere along the line I stopped having a life. Or my life became school work. Or… you know, it’s pretty funny that when you don’t think about things, how things just move along without you.

But, I promised myself after I graduated I would take a bit of time off and figure out what life without the constant pressure of school looked like. Can I tell you, it looks like disorganized chaos. It has amazed me how, now that my life has all this free time attached to it I feel busier than I did when I was in school.

There aren’t any deadlines, nothing I have to get done, no project I have to plan my life around to make sure I get it in on time… and it’s that absence that is screaming so loudly it’s deafening.

A friend of mine told me I need to get back in school because I need it. I scoffed when he said it. I’m not scoffing so much now. I thrive with the pressure. I love the stress. I need those imposed deadlines to do the crazy 2500 word writing sprees that I just have to get done.

Or do I?

I probably don’t. But, in the lack of those things, I haven’t quite figured out how to implement my own so that they carry the same weight. Which creates a different sort of pressure.

Now I have the time to work on all those books and stories that I had to push off in order to concentrate on the schoolwork I was paying thousands of dollars for. It was a great excuse. So great.

Now that excuse is gone and it’s just me staring at a blinking cursor when I do finally take the time. Or coming up with some excuse to not write because…

Because the fear is overwhelming.

Another friend of mine told me,

“Everyone wants to be a published author. Not everyone will sit down and write the book.”

When she said that, it stung. Because I want to be. And I recognized myself in that last part, a little too much.

But the good news… yep, there’s good news (even if I’m forcing myself to say it)… is that I got about half of a book done while in college. It’s a collection of short stories that still has some work to do, but hopefully, I’ll get back to it soon enough and finish it.

Then there are the stories I pushed aside. I’m being encouraged by my wife and a few friends to start writing those again. I’ll probably get to that in the next few days.

And I have submitted three stories in the last month. Two for publication, one to a contest. And even if I don’t win, that’s something, right?

I keep telling myself 2018 is the year of change. I’m hoping I change that whole “excuse” thing. Because as I have said for years, “Nobody cares about your excuses.”

5 thoughts on “No More Excuses…

  1. You could always join writing challenges like that November thingie… I can’t remember what it’s called right now… where you write so much in such and such a time. It’s not as structured as college, but there are deadlines. And congrats on getting through college.

    Like

Add your $.02

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.