School started here on Monday (granted, I don’t go back for another week), so for all my teacher friends…
Category Archives: Funny
WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW UNTIL YOU HAVE KIDS
WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW UNTIL YOU HAVE KIDS
~ How many seconds it takes to microwave four fish slicks perfectly.
~ Who John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt is.
~ How to change a diaper in the dark, in a parked car, on a standing child, and all of the above simultaneously.
~ Which lines of “The Cat in the Hat” and “If I Ran the Circus” can be skipped over without a child noticing.
~ How bright a 3 a.m. full moon is.
~ The design marvels of hooded towels, Velcro-strap shoes, and mitten clips.
~ Locations of public restrooms all across town.
~ Why anyone would bother retracing their steps for miles just to retrieve a lost blankie.
~ The fine art of vacuuming a floor with out hosing up a Barbie shoe or a Playmobil cannonball.
~ How little sleep a human body truly needs to function.
~ Almost every Disney lyric ever penned.
~ How to spell amoxicillin, let alone say it.
~ That reverse psychology really works.
~ Why they call them Happy Meals.
~ The blessedness of naps.
~ How much you can love one human being.
From Mikey's Funnies [forwarded by Gretchen Patti]
I had an E-poop-phany.
Life is like water.
The water in a flushed toilet bowl.
Swirling around and around.
Drawing us in an ever downward spiral.
Toward the inevitable end.
Kind of depressing when you realize the accuracy of the analogy.
Hey… don’t blame me, it’s just the weird thoughts that I have rambling in my head.
The Secret Present
Secret Santa, Secret Santa, bring me my gift.
Make it so heavy that it’s hard to lift,
Wrap it in paper, stick it with a bow,
Under the tree is where it should go.
On Christmas day, I’ll grab it up quick,
And tear open the package with just a flick,
Revealing the gift that’s hidden inside,
“Just what I wanted!” knowing I lied.
And just remember this part, don’t forget,
We all agreed on a boundary, preset,
You can’t spend more than the ten-dollar limit,
Ok, fine, spend twenty, just never admit.
Merry Christmas
Somethings just need to be shared and watched. Enjoy.
Thoughts from the Front 