“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Ps 139:23-24
I hear the psalmist, on his knees, his hands held high while he lifts his head in this song… beating his chest, crying out to his creator in a longing passion. “Search me!” Throwing open the doors to his life, his soul, his everything. I can hear the desperation in his voice, his heart beating in his chest, his desire to be in a close relationship with his maker.
Totally expecting God to honor his plea. To find anything in him that is against God, so that he can confess it and be free. Clean before a Holy Lord. Made righteous by the work of a loving father. Having nothing to be ashamed of, but to be able to worship in spirit and in truth.
To be lead in the ways of the everlasting, to know, that through everything, he has significance and that his only desire is to follow after that which God laid out before him. To know that no matter what may happen, he is safe in his Father’s hands. To risk it all, and leave nothing behind. To rush into battle and to put his life on the line, because to live is a Godly thing, but to die, to lay down his life, in service to the King, there is no greater thing.
Father, may you find me on my knees, my hands lifted in praise to you, these words on my lips, and my heart open to you. Search me, oh my King. Search me.