Category Archives: Uncategorized

A Cross Country Trip…

Four guys are driving cross-country together — one from Idaho, one from Iowa, one from Florida, and the last one is from New York.

After a while, the man from Idaho starts pulling potatoes from his bag and throwing them out the window. The man from Iowa asks, “What the heck are you doing?” The man from

Idaho says, “Man, we have so many of these darned things in Idaho — I’m sick of looking at them!”

A few more miles and the man from Iowa begins pulling ears of corn from his bag and throwing them out the window. The man from Florida asks, “What are you doing?” The man from Iowa replies, “Man, we have so many of these things in Iowa — I’m sick of looking at them!”

Inspired by the others, the man from Florida opens the car door and pushes the New Yorker out.

***

Author’s Note

Being a native Floridian, I find this absolutely hysterical. Being married to a New Yorker and the son of a New Yorker just happens to be circumstantial and not any inclination toward my feelings about those two individuals… or does it?

From Mikey’s Funnies
[forwarded by Gretchen Patti]

You Are Beheld…

I was recently having a conversation with a friend who is having a difficult go of things. After giving this person a few compliments on how I saw them, the strength they had, their vigorous grasp of hope, and how I was in awe of them for that, they responded by saying,

I don’t see myself as a strong person.

 

The truth is, there are a lot of us who struggle with that. Where others see strength, we see failure. Where others admire us, we despise ourselves. Where others see someone they want to be like, we see someone no one could every (or should ever) cherish.

So, in a brief moment of enlightenment and empathy, I penned the following response to them. If you are going through anything like they are, I hope you find these words helpful.

Continue reading You Are Beheld…

The (Almost) End of Spring 2016…

I just submitted my final essay for the Spring semester. The only thing I have left is a final exam in one class and finishing my portfolio for another. Yeah, a portfolio which consists of a short story and a poem. Which I’ve already written and submitted and now just need to edit and clean up.

So, the question I have is… why am I freaking out so much?

It’s my down time before classes start up and all I can think about is what book do I want to read or what Coursera or Udemy class do I want to knock out real quick.

I seriously think something might be wrong with me. I joke about my mental masochism (you know, because I’m so old and going back to school and all that jazz), but I’m starting to think I really might have an issue.

Oh, and I joined another writing group. Because one wasn’t enough.

Yeah, something is definitely not write in my head…. (yeah, I spelled it that way on purpose).

 

So, there’s your update, you know, since it’s been a while since I wrote about my #collegelife.

 

Corporate Structure…

It’s Monday. The start of the work week. We all need a good laugh (because, you know, it’s kind of true).

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD:
Leaps tall building in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Discusses policy with God

PRESIDENT:
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God

EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB.
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if special request is approved

VICE PRESIDENT:
Barely clears a Quonset hut
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God

GENERAL MANAGER:
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by locomotive
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Dog paddles
Talks to animals

MANAGER:
Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can’t stay afloat with a life preserver
Talks to walls

TRAINEE:
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter building
Says “look at the choo-choo”
Wets him/herself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to him/herself

SECRETARY:
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in his/her teeth
Freezes water with a single glance
Is the closest being to God

From Mikey’s Funnies

If you enjoyed this and would like to receive similar funnies in your email, make sure to sign up for them at the link above. Mike's a really neat guy, to boot. Yep, I said neat. So what...

When Millenials Rule the World

Ok, this is just too good not to reblog. Marissa is a wonderful talent of a poet and I hope you enjoy her work (and then go follow her).

Glorious Results Of A Misspent Youth

Somewhere in Iraq, March 28, 2035 9:56 AM PST

The head of ISIL is discovered
On the button his hand hovers
Advisors ask him “Are you sure?”
As sweat comes out of every pore
He says “The weak make second guesses”
And so fateful, down he presses
With nothing left he must await
Reaction from United States

Washington D.C., March 28, 2035 10:04 AM PST

We find our leader in good health he
Photoshops his morning selfie
Erases wrinkles in his neck
When suddenly he gets a text

He can’t believe what he is seeing
And so he calls for a staff meeting
And so his people come abounding
For the news he is announcing

ISIL sent the atom bomb
In form of an emoticon
No one really had a clue
As to the next thing they should do

Till one suggested that perchance
They ask the President of France

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