WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW UNTIL YOU HAVE KIDS

WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW UNTIL YOU HAVE KIDS

~ How many seconds it takes to microwave four fish slicks perfectly.

~ Who John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt is.

~ How to change a diaper in the dark, in a parked car, on a standing child, and all of the above simultaneously.

~ Which lines of “The Cat in the Hat” and “If I Ran the Circus” can be skipped over without a child noticing.

~ How bright a 3 a.m. full moon is.

~ The design marvels of hooded towels, Velcro-strap shoes, and mitten clips.

~ Locations of public restrooms all across town.

~ Why anyone would bother retracing their steps for miles just to retrieve a lost blankie.

~ The fine art of vacuuming a floor with out hosing up a Barbie shoe or a Playmobil cannonball.

~ How little sleep a human body truly needs to function.

~ Almost every Disney lyric ever penned.

~ How to spell amoxicillin, let alone say it.

~ That reverse psychology really works.

~ Why they call them Happy Meals.

~ The blessedness of naps.

~ How much you can love one human being.

From Mikey's Funnies [forwarded by Gretchen Patti]

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We are Borg…

Funny conversation happened today, one that not only lends itself to the sheer level of weirdness that I have, but also reveals a level of the geek that my wife and I share with each other. Might I just say, our geek level individually is kind of funny, together however… it’s just down right scary.

Here, let me set the scene for you…

We are walking through the mall after binge watching 4 episodes of the Daredevil

The Toy Box in the Corner

The toy box sits in the corner of the room these days, neglected, unused, and generally forgotten about. It has been years since the children have even acknowledged the joy that has come at the expense of the toys that are now compacted into those six walls, but I still can’t bring myself to get rid of it.

Memories of jubilant Saturday mornings fill my head, of the children creating stories out of the dolls and Tonka trucks. Little green army men out to save the world being trampled on by a teddy bear that had transformed into “Bearacus the Destroyer”. Puzzle pieces strewn across the floor as they tried to compete to see which one could finish the fastest. Lastly, the numerous unspoken curses I held in as I stepped on countless Lego blocks while cleaning up after them.