Tag Archives: Satire

Too Many Pills…

Sometimes, I feel that doctor’s got a cue from Monty Hall when it comes to prescriptions, and there are days where I walk into the office and feel like I just walked onto the set of “Let’s Take A Pill”. I’m not really sure if this is insurance driven, the pharmacology companies pushing more medication or if the doctors really think that this form of treatment is the answer to solve all that ails me.

Then, as a good patient, we start taking our pills, swallowing down whatever it is that they told us is going to fix the problem, only to have to end up taking others in order to counteract the side effects of the ones we are taking, which then cause us other issues and.. well, you get the idea.

For instance… I am currently taking a diabetes medication, a cholesterol medication and a blood pressure medication. My blood sugar is about where it was 20 years ago, elevated but if those numbers changed a wee bit (less than a percent) I would be outside the scope (and by the way, that has actually happened in the past). My cholesterol is a bit high.. ok, in days gone by I liked my hamburgers, pizza and other fun (read…unhealthy) food. So that one, sure. Got it.

Then there is the blood pressure medicine. My blood pressure is fine, like spot on fine. 120/80 kind of spot on. Hasn’t changed in so long I can tell the nurse taking my pressure exactly what it’s going to be (plus or minus 3 points). So, why am I taking this? Because one of the other pills I am taking has a chance to raise another number that is slightly elevated (but normal) and he is concerned that it could cause me problems.

facepalm

I’m like… what?

Then there is the scenario about my shoulder. It hurts. Like bad enough I actually went to the doctor to tell him it hurt and it wasn’t even falling off (Yep, one of ‘those’ guys). I get an MRI done, I get my evaluation. The doc says, “It’s an impingement caused by a bone spur.” Great I think, hoping this doesn’t mean surgery, but before I could say anything, he finishes with, “We won’t be doing surgery because we can’t see the bone spur. So, instead, I’m going to give you a cortisone shot and schedule you for physical therapy.”

double-facepalm

So, there I am, sitting on the paper covered table with him looking at me in all seriousness, telling me that an MRI couldn’t see the bone spur, but this invisible bone spur was what was causing my issue and his answer is to inject me with something and send me away.

I’m not a huge fan of needles, and I have heard enough about this cortisone that I am really not for it. However, my wife is in the room with me and she is all like.. “Yeah, lets do that. That sounds like a plan.”, and in my head I am shooting daggers at her, which by some odd coincidence happened to be about the size of the needle that this doctor ended up sticking me in the shoulder with.

Guess what?

The cortisone shot hasn’t done anything for me. Big win Mr. Doctor, sir. Plus, you know… more daggers.

Now, I like my primary doctor. He is funny, a nice guy, listens to me and tries to calm my over active hypochondriacal ways. Plus, he is a reservist, so bonus points there. All I’m saying is.. instead of taking a chill pill, can we just chill with the pill?

Seriously, he couldn’t see the bone spur…

Better to give…

Advice.

Often given. Rarely received.

At least that is my perspective on it.warning-bears

Not that I am any better at receiving it then others, but I have this knuckle-headed viewpoint on my life that says I have to figure it out on my own. That doesn’t always fare well for me.

On the other hand, either due to the sheer amount of failed experiences that the sum of my life represents or by the plethora of advice that has been given to me over the course of my many years (that, if I would have actually applied, would have resulted in less of the former mentioned failures, I am sure) I have an abundance of advice that I am readily, and more than willing, to dispense upon whatever circumstance that you are currently finding yourself surrounded by. Continue reading Better to give…

I love to cook. That being said, I don’t. At least not very often.

Part of the reason is that even in cooking simple macaroni and cheese, a process that should take any ordinary person 20 minutes, ends up taking me close to an hour. Why? Cause, well, I’m not ordinary.

But here is the process that tends to take place, and for length and time, I will leave the steps to just making the aforementioned mac&cheese.. and as this is for posterity sake, I’ll be honest. Continue reading Mac and Cheese in 42 Easy Steps.

Help?

Asking for help?help

Who does that?

Not this guy, that’s who… and usually I am the worse for it.

My pride, male ego and just the general “I can do it!” attitude step right in the way when I realize I am in way over my head, keeping me from reaching out to someone. As such, let’s take a deeper look into what those three reasons actually mean… and why they have such a grip on me and, for the most part, all other men. Continue reading Help?