I have this thing with lying. I hate it. A lot. Like.. a super lot… like infinity times two, a lot. (I’ve actually written about something similar in the past.) But because of that strong dislike for lies, I myself do everything in my power not to lie. Like not even a little. I’m sure there are those who are already discounting this, I’m sure there are those who know me who are trying to think of a time I did so they can disprove this. By all means, if you feel the need.. go ahead.. I’ll wait.

And because I am an awesome guy.. here, have some music to help.

Yeah, yeah.. I can't do flowcharts.. whoopie...
Yeah, yeah.. I can’t do flowcharts.. whoopie…

Great.

Now back to what I was saying.

(What was I saying.. hold on.. had to design that flowchart and totally lost my train of thought.. I should work on that.)

Oh.. ok.. got it… so, maybe it’s because I was born on George Washington’s birthday (not the year, I’m old.. but.. come on…), maybe it’s my over inflated sense of being better than other people (yep, I said it), maybe it’s my middle child syndrome kicking in (yeah, I don’t know how that plays into any of this either.. but.. trump card)… but whatever it is, this is the one thing I really take pride in (yeah, ok, one vice for another.. whatever).

I have oft been heard to say, “Don’t ask me a question you don’t want an answer too,” attempting to warn people that the answer they are looking for may not be the answer that I am going to give. I try to be nice about it, I try to not be a jerk in the telling of the truth, and I try really hard to stop where I should stop in order to not be rude…

try-not
Another quote I am famous for saying….

So when someone asks me…”Do I look fat in these jeans?”, I can answer back honestly “No.” And then quickly shut my mouth before the rest of the answer comes out (which is usually something like.. ‘it’s not the jeans making you look fat’). Most times my honest nature gets me in trouble. Even to the point that my wife calls me brash and the words ‘tactless’ and ‘crass’ are thrown about (but only by those upper crust snobby people who actually use words like that). ‘Jerk’, ‘rude’, ‘blunt’.. all words I have heard (truth be told, not always in reference to my honesty, however).

There are people who blame me for manipulating the truth and spinning in such a manner as to work for me. Ok, fine. Guilty. And? There are those who say I only tell half-truths (see the comment about the jeans above), and to that I say.. better to tell the truth and keep a piece back just to keep the peace…

There are those who classify this as lying. Ok. I see your point and that is your prerogative and I’m happy for you.. but seriously, keep your chocolate out of my peanut butter…

reeses-peanut-butter

So.. yeah.. there’s that.

On a side note, I have found out that George never said anything about chopping down a cherry tree.. and that said cherry tree never even existed. Granted, as I said at the beginning, I’m not that old, wasn’t there, so.. I can’t speak on that.

And seriously.. people.. stop asking me loaded questions.. cause I really am going to start firing back.

Just trying to give fair warning…

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “I Walk the Line.”

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8 thoughts on “Honest…

  1. I agree. I have learned the art of speaking in vague confusing ways so as not to actually reply to the question asked. Or to say something that means something else to me.
    For instance I will tell a person something they did is “Well done.” meanwhile I’m thinking well done as in “overcooked and burnt.” 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. As for honesty, Billy Joel sings it best. This post was very entertaining, by the way, and food for thought. We all kinda shave the truth when (we feel) it is needed, but lying is indeed a social tragedy as well as a sin.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t like being lied to, so I’m honest for the most part, but I’ll lie with a straight face if I have to. Self preservation and all that. But lying is exhausting, so I mostly stick to the truth.

    Liked by 1 person

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